How to Forgive

Often, people believe that they are so consumed with anger that it is impossible to even entertain the idea of forgiveness. While it may not be easy, it will certainly be worth it for you to forgive someone.

The point of forgiveness is not to help the offender, but to help the wounded.

Did they not already take from you your peace of mind?

How long will you allow that to continue?


Whether you need to forgive a rapist, an adulterer, a family member who betrayed you, a parent who abandoned you, a molester from your childhood, or an authority who unjustly accused and punished you, you can get over the trauma, the pain and the emotional roller coaster by allowing yourself to forgive.

I chose to share my own process to practicing forgiveness in hope that it will help someone learn to cultivate forgiveness by adapting it to suit the situation.

Forgiveness has been easy for me in most cases, but certainly not all, especially not those which have harmed my family. I try to forgive them, and think that I have, and then suddenly one day I am full of anger again and have to go through the process again.

My process is quite simple really.

I simply try to place myself in the shoes of the offender, wondering what might have happened in their past that caused them to be so hateful, so mean, so deceitful, so uncaring.

Hurt people hurt people. That’s my belief. I don’t voice my forgiveness to them unless they ask for forgiveness, and I do not forget, for that would be foolish.

Sometimes we are forced to exit our comfort zone, that’s one of the effects of being wounded whether physically, emotionally or spiritually. Forgiveness of the person or persons who caused that wound, also requires us to exit our comfort zone.

It is much more comfortable to harbor anger, but that particular type of comfort is nearly equal to living life while you’re sleeping. You become so much more awake and aware, once the anger leaves – and makes room for positive things in your life.

I forgive genuinely from my heart and soul, but sometimes it is a process that needs repeating because it nurtures the soul, just as eating daily nurtures the body.