Talking to Yourself – Losing Your Filter

alone-woman-walking-snow

One of the pitfalls of spending too much time alone is that you may begin talking to yourself. If you have pets then you might justify talking to yourself by claiming you’re actually just talking to them, letting them know they’re not alone and that you care for them, but what you may not realize, is that you’re losing your filter.

Here’s the problem, and it may not occur for a few years of isolation, but it can be a problem regardless of when it appears. On the odd occasion when you do go out, you may find yourself saying inappropriate things. Things that may make you seem a little bit crazy, especially if you’ve never spoken inappropriately before.

Example: Recently I visited a friend to celebrate her birthday. It was a pretty big one, the big 60. We were in the kitchen – my friend, her husband, and I – just standing around talking. I excused myself to the ladies room. When I returned to the kitchen, it was empty, except for me and the cat.

oops-did-i-say-thatI waited around for a couple of minutes, refreshing my drink and having a snack. Then I walked outside onto the patio for a cigarette, and there they were! I said, “Oh, here you are! I thought maybe y’all were having a little birthday sex.”

And there it was, that dreaded look of shock on their faces. Their eyes got big and then they had that awkward little giggle, and then I said something else  – quickly. “So what are you guys doing to celebrate the birthday girl?” Oops, not better. Oh my gawd. Then I followed up with, “Are y’all going out to dinner tonight? Have you tried that new place on Main Street yet? I hear it’s really good.” Whew, crisis averted. (Inner thought – note that you’re losing your filter – work on that.)

Why is that so shocking?

Mind you, these are not words that would normally pass through my lips. So while they may seem harmless to most people, anyone hearing me say that out loud would cringe. It’s not the words, it’s the person from whom they came.

It’s also the people to whom the words are delivered. Tidbits of personal life, nor an off-color joke, have ever slipped through their lips, at least not in my presence. These are very private people, and I just invaded their innermost sanctum.

You may lose your filter when you spend most of your time alone, talking to yourself. It’s not life-threatening, but it can certainly be embarrassing, and it’s definitely difficult to explain why you just blurted out whatever you were thinking without giving it a second thought.

better-left-unsaid

And… it’s a bit uncomfortable knowing that your friends are now concerned for your sanity. Remember, we’re 60-ish, not 30-ish. A drastic change in verbal content at this stage of life can be perceived as problematic to say the least.

Remember that the next time a friend or loved one who lives alone or spends most of their time alone, starts talking and says something unexpected that shocks you.

They’re just losing their filter, not their mind.

 

 

 

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Live and Let Live

live-and-let-live

Each day it becomes more apparent that the religious right will not be satisfied until they have exhausted all attempts to mandate their religious dogma throughout these once “united states,” regardless of the cost.

mind-your-own-business

Little do they know that their behavior and lack of unconditional love, is destroying their witness.

If it were not so sad…

it would be funny.

Who wants to be a controlling, judgmental, psychotic religious freak?

 

Is that what Jesus taught?

Matthew 7:3
Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but fail to notice the beam in your own eye?

Live and let live.

It’s the way to peace of mind.

Matthew 5:12  …work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

In other words – mind your own business and stop trying to control everyone.

 

Where We Live

I’ve been helping someone search for a new and more convenient city / state to live in because they are now travelling the country in their job. Right now, she has to drive to Charleston, SC or Myrtle Beach, SC, to catch a flight to a large airport hub such as Charlotte, NC, or Atlanta, GA, and then proceed to her final destination. This causes a nasty little layover that is not only a waste of time, but is also quite frustrating when repeated twice weekly.

Charlotte Douglas International Airport (CLT) is looking pretty good, but I was hoping she could leave the south altogether. Living Blue in a Red state isn’t unbearably awful, but why not at least look for a more hospitable area where like minded individuals are easier to find.

Charlotte-direct-flights

Image from: http://charlotteusa.com/business-info/transportation/

As I’ve been searching for locations with large airport hubs, I have also been checking the climate of each location, as well as the likelihood of natural disasters. After all, if you’re flying in and out of town each week, you don’t want to deal with iced planes and other dangerous situations.

One thing i have realized during this quest, is that there are places with much better climates than the one I was born to. Then I wondered why more people don’t relocate to areas where the climate is more suitable to their personal disposition.

Some people love snow, some love rain, some must live near water, some wish to view mountains every day… and yet, far too many Americans remain where they were born, settling. Whatever happened to the pioneer spirit?

Where we live should be a subject of at least some consideration. For instance, I discovered that I loved living in Arizona. The dry climate did wonders for my allergies and I had absolutely no hives during the five years I lived there.

Here’s another little tidbit that helped me rule out some states…

The top 10 states for tornadoes as of the most recent (1991-2015) average are as follows, in order from high to low: Texas, Kansas, Oklahoma, Florida, Nebraska, Illinois, Colorado, Iowa, Alabama, Missouri, and Mississippi.

The US experiences more than 1,000 tornadoes a year, and the storms have been reported on every continent except Antarctica.

 

tornado

 

I’ll be posting more of my results for easy access and for future reference as I search for a suitable suburb in a metropolitan area within 30 – 45 minutes of a large airport hub offering direct flights across the country.

Feel free to make recommendations.